Remember how some of the best Christmas gifts came in small packages? Well, some of the biggest penises hang on some short as fuck men. This guy, Tats Man, was like 5’7 on a good day in shoes (I’m 5’9 on a bad day in flats), super skinny, slightly greasy and shoulder length black hair, light skinned Hispanic, and COVERED in tattoos. When I say covered, I mean covered. Some he designed and gave himself, and some he let people give him when they were working on building their portfolio. His array of tattoos was probably a great fit since he did work at a tattoo supply store.
When Tats Man replied to my ad, he gave me his number (along with some awesome pictures of himself.) As I was feeling adventurous and daring that morning (work was super boring at the time), I decided to text him with a “you shouldn’t give your number out to strangers, what if I was a creeper?” Of which he replied “You won’t be a stranger much longer lol.” Yeah, I was fairly happy I texted him.
I sent him an array of pictures (including some of those provocative ones I took for Joker.) When I say array, I mean months old to a few hours old pictures. He pointed out that I looked different between them–not in a bad way, but “stunningly different.” Tats Man told me I was beautiful and he wanted to at least meet me, no sex needed. Now, in case you haven’t figured out my personality, I have a lower self-esteem than most girls; I was rarely hit on or called beautiful by like any men (my partner tells me it’s implied.) I was blushing up a storm in my tiny office. We texted a lot and about the most random things. I even told him about my partner without him needing to ask. Though, he did ask why I was still with him and if I knew why he didn’t like sex. I feel that if I knew…I would probably have tried to fix it. We were texting one Saturday when I had a major event for work and he invited me to come see him at work once I was done. I told him I would be exhausted and he said he would get me a chair to sit in at the store. He just wanted to see me.
Tats Man was working at a tattoo supply store fairly far away from where I lived at. Up until then, I had no idea that the equivalent of a Sally’s existed for tattoo supplies. When I got there, Tats Man was working with a customer, so I just walked around the little “U” shaped store, looking at the different tattoo supplies like ink and needles. He had the biggest grin when he saw me and gave me a really awkward wave. He continued to help the customer a bit before coming over to see me. Tats Man gave me a hug and just stared at me for what felt like an eternity (like a grandparent does after months of not seeing you.) He then said that my pictures didnt do me any justice; I looked even more beautiful in person. I was putty in his hands. We small talked a bit before he had to check the customer out. When he came back, we talked extensively about sex (he suggested we even go into the back storage area; I’m not that horny.) The talk eventually turned to when and where will we get to have sex, so I told him about my partner’s schedule. I stayed for awhile before I was just exhausted and needed to leave. In that time span, a few customers came and went and I learned a lot a about tattoos, that’s for sure.
Tats Man came over to my place one Saturday before he had to go in for work. I told my partner to call me before he came home from work (he’d been leaving work really early a lot lately.) We talked, he felt up my boobs and then tried to see if they were bigger than his face (they kinda were.) Tats Man was there maybe an hour before my partner called. Pussy blocked…ugh. We set up another time during the week when I could get away during lunch and he was off.
I wore a cute dress that day since I knew I’d see Tats Man. I got home, made a quick lunch, and slightly undressed. When he got there we got right to it. Tats Man’s penis was as big as his forearm, good Lord. I thoroughly enjoyed giving him head because of it. For someone so tiny, I was amazed his cock wasn’t classified as a third leg. I warn every man that my vagina gets incredibly wet (no, I don’t squirt), and Tats Man was still amazed with how wet I was without any sort of foreplay. What can I say? I love the anticipation. He enjoyed going down on me immensely. When Tats Man put his cock in, he immediately took it out, telling me he was going to cum way too soon. Personally, I have never seen the problem with a guy cumming quick; you obviously have an awesome pussy. I told him out was not a big deal; it meant we had a starting point to work from….and we definitely did.
We texted on and off, met up a few times and even hung out (he is a legit artist and I once went to his art show to see his work.) In all honesty, I made a pretty awesome friend. He did get a girlfriend (she let him tattoo the fuck out of her) and I had to find a new bed buddy. So the search continued for the best friend with benefits around.
Until Next Time,
The Daring Vagina